Emotions!

Well just feeling a bit emotional at the moment! It's like I'm a cutter who just needs to do something with my hands so I keep clicking on pregnancy diaries of girls I was ttc with in the early days or girls that were in the forum thread due in May which is when our angel baby was due!

I guess it's just hitting home that I should be around 36weeks pregnany not 7 weeks! It's a hard feeling! I've generally coped pretty well since the miscarriage but I think as the date approaches (30th May) I'll start needing some time to just "be"! It's really difficult to think I should be finished work, and in final preparation stages for bub to make its way into the world!

I understand that our angel just wasn't ready and am sooo grateful that I am pregnant again and am praying this one sticks (I'm just not sure how I will cope and if I could ever pull myself out of the abyss if I lost this one)! But nothing will stop it being hard to realise I'm still so far away from holding that precious bundle in my arms!! It really sucks sometimes!

I've had a reasonably good day symptom wise today! Tired and a little bit of m/s in the morning (for a change) but then the rest of the day felt ok... just tired! I'm not letting one good day worry me though!! I have no reason to this anything has gone wrong! I'l hopefully get to see baby again on Tuesday at my OB appointment and reassure myself that everything is going ok! I have to admit this last week has flown by so hopefully the next 5 weeks fly by so we can relax and take a breath and tell everyone! I am dying to really get this out there!! I just know how much support and love I will have and I hate lying to people who keep asking but that is the way the game is played unfortunately!

I guess the upside of taking longer to ttc is that I have met some great people -my FB ladies know who they are and how much I love that we are so supportive of each other and can make me laugh!! It's so good to know they are there for any questions I have (they're so smart!!) :P