Yep the elusive 12 weeks is upon yet I fail to feel that super excitement that I imagined I would feel.. I guess it's because until I see this amazing little bubba is all safe and sounds I will continue to worry!
I was supposed to have a scan this morning but Peter just simply couldn't get the time off work. I was so upset when he told me on Tuesday night I just burst into silent tears. Silent because I didn't want him to know how upset I was as he already felt bad about me having to change the scan date! So fortunately I managed to sneak those tears by him and simply told him last night that I was really upset but I knew it wasn't anything he could help and that it was just how I was feeling!
I want to yell and scream from the rooftops and not keep it a secret any longer but unfortunately I won't be doing that until at least Tuesday now when my next scan is! I suppose it's good in a way as the longer it is the more formed bubba will appear! I don't know why I am stressing so much as I only saw bubba just over a week ago and everything was fine! I guess I'll remain paranoid until I can feel bubba moving inside me. Even then I'll continue to over analyse every little niggle!
Took yesterday off work! The tiredness is still taking it's toll..guess it could also be diet related as I haven't exactly had the most nutritional diet the last little while so maybe I am lacking in something... will hae to start eating better!! I woke up yesterday, emailed work to say I won't be coming in, fell asleep from 8 - 10 got up at 11 for an hour then slept again from 12 -3! And still managed to fall asleep easily and sleep all night with the exception of a toilet break!
Tummy has ever so slightly started to fill out. I can really only notice because I've analysed my body so much over the years. I always have this little bump around the belly button region that no matter how much I workout or eat well or whatever I always have it so I just put it down to my shape! Well I've said since the start that once that little bump starts disappearing I'll know the lower part of my belly is coming out and low and behold I finally have the stomach I've always wanted because it's flat now...but I know it won't last long and that is fine by me! Really need to get on to the bio oil/cocoa butter bandwagon actually and even though you can't stop stretchmarks I'd like to do what I can to at least minimise them! One sister got them quite badly and the other not so much! So genetics has already left me confused! Though the sister that has them is quite fair skinned and the other quite dark..I'm somewhere inbetween probably more on the darker side so FX I am lucky!
Booked in for my antenatal classes the other day! Was very excited but once again apprehensive and hope I haven't jinxed anything! Start on the 6th October which I'll be about 30 weeks! There's a class in a few weeks I'll be attending which is more for first timers so that will be exciting!!
Little bit of seediness is still lingering which is good - it lets me feel a bit more at ease....just one more week I reckon and I think I'll be able to really start enjoying this pregnancy for everything it's worth! Though then the countdown will be on til we can find out if I'm carrying a little boy or a little girl! Ah, the suspense!!!
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