CD13

Morning! Well another day another 50 cents! I'm so over this whole 'work' business right now! I am planning on enrolling and doing my Cert 3 & 4 in Fitness and get into personal training but I think it'll have to wait til next month as $$$ is pretty tight at the moment trying to save our butts off!! But I think once I am done it will be worth it financially in the long run - especially as it is something I can do when I have a baby as I won't be able to afford to take too much time off (we are saving for a house)!

Well temp jumped up again from 36.07 to 36.20 so hopefully if I get another rise tomorrow FF will put in some crosshairs to say I Oed on either CD10 or 11 - I'm thinking 11! Which is fine! We BDed on CD10 and 12 so hopefully we caught the eggy! I so want this!

Its been a weird cycle in terms of cervical mucus though (sorry if too gross) but yeah I've had barely any this cycle as opposed to last cycle where I could basically swim in it!! So I'm glad I am temping in a way because otherwise I would have had no idea that its passed (if it has!!) Either way we are still intending on going all the way to the end of the cycle BDing every second day at least! That way there is no risk! I'm unsure if I want to test before AF is due... though I may do one test over easter as we are going away and I don't want to be drinking if I'm pregnant so yeah...that's probably the only time I want to test! Normally I can't wait to test but I don't think I have it in me to face another negative test!

I'm willing to try virtually anything! I know this sounds far fetched but it's something a friend told me! Basically a psychic said that sometimes our babies are around us but sometimes they think we aren't ready so they don't know to come so to write a letter to the baby letting them know it's ok to come and to turn around and all that sort of stuff! Sounds crazy I know but like I said - there's no hard in it! So after laying awake unable to sleep the other night I got up and wrote a letter which I basically explained the amount of love is waiting for this baby - not just by myself and Peter but also by my entire network of family and friends. And how we promise to give this baby as much love and opportunity as we can. So then I placed it under my pillow and have fallen asleep clutching it every night since Sunday night. It's a comfort thing as well to be honest as it holds the thoughts that would ordinarily be zooming around my head making it hard to get to sleep so instead I fall asleep clutching this letter under my pillow with a smile on my face. Peter knows about this letter but hasn't read it (or has done so on the sly! haha) I don't think he gets all the hoohaa but who knows!!

Wow...I could just write all day (and I'm on reception all day so I just might do!!)

I wish there was just a simply solution to all of this = but then again I know that as soon as I see those 2 lines on a test the next phase of stressing begins until I get past 9 weeks ( when we lost bubs) and safely arrive at the 12 week mark I will be freaking out! I'd honestly be happy to even be one of those people with the worst morning sickness in the world if it meant getting a nice healthy baby at the end of it! I'm just so ready to start a family and it's all I've ever wanted... just doesn't seem to want to happen for us...