We've hit 6 months!!

Yup my little man is 6 months and 4 days old! It's amazing just how fast the time has gone!! He had his health check last Wednesday (so the day before he turned 6 months)! My little beefcake weighed in at 8.25kg and 70cm! But he is perfectly in proportion so I'm happy about that!

It amazes me how fast they begin to learn things! He still hasn't rolled from back to tummy but today I swore he was going to do it!! Soon though I'm sure! But now on his tummy-  which he loves being on- he is really trying to push up and back on to his knees! Amazing! With a bit of luck he'll be crawling in no time! He just needs to work it out! He gets up on his knees but face plants or pushes up on his arms and slides backwards! Crazy little man!!

His reflux seems to be settling WAY down which is awesome! Whilst I'm lucky it never really caused him pain, it's just been gross and well I'm glad he really only spews little possets now not so much the big spews (still happen on occasion but not as often)! But he drools SO MUCH so he's still saturated all the time! LOL!!

He seems to be back to sleeping good day sleeps and back to sleeping all night (generally through til 6.30/7) which is doing wonders for my sanity! Such a good boy!

We are obviously in a sunny period and not in a wonder week or anything so he is being an amazing baby right now and very few cries come from him!!!

Motherhood..well where do I begin! I got a new job and started part time which I enjoyed at first but now I'm bored and really there is no challenge to it! So I thought aout going back to my old job and met to discuss with them! I wanted 3 days which I wouldn't have an issue putting Ashton in care for but they refused to bend on 4 days and wanted me to go back to reception which well...a monkey could do that job! I got bored of that after 3 months when I started there when I Was 19 and had had no experience! So that was really disappointing but a real eye opener to see how little they value long term employees!! So not sure what I'm going to do but for now i'll just stick with the part time job at the physio!!

I just wish there was a great job I could do from home til I'm finished studying so I didn't have to leave Ashton! I'm no good at party plan as I'm not a natural sales person and talking in front of a group just freaks me out!!

My fissure is still giving me grief! It seemed better for a while but now its back and its painful! So will be making an appointment to see the doctor and push to have the surgery to fix it - everyone I've spoken to has said the surgery has worked wonders and well to be honest...that's what I want!!

I've also started running as a way of helping me lose weight! I'm exactly what I was pre pregancy but I've been like 6-8kg over what I'm happy with for years so I'm trying to get it off!! I started the c25k running program - you can read about it on my other blog - http://superstarrrc25k.blogspot.com/ ! I'm really hoping I can finish the program successfully!!

Yep It's Definitely been a while!!!

I know it's been like 100 years since I've written anything - sadly life just got chaotic and I never get a chance too! But I was spurred on to look at my pg diary and felt the need to write in here!!

Ashton is now almost 6 months old and he is simply an amazing little character who makes me smile a million times a day! Something as simple as tonight in the bath he was just cracking up at me wiping a washer over his belly - a real laugh! I never get tired of hearing it!!!

He is amazing! When he isn't teething he is such a delightful baby and makes life so easy for me (As easy as it can be with a baby)! And whilst motherhood isn't without its trials I have honestly never felt more complete! I grew up saying my whole life I wanted to be a mum...that was all I aspired to be and I'm so glad I was right! I never knew how complete I feel now!

Ashton makes me a whole person! Since having him I really feel as though there is a real purpose to my life! I gave up breastfeeding after a menial 3 weeks - it was painful and more pain than I could get through no matter how many people told me it gets better! The agony made my toes curl, made me swear, made me feel such anxiety over feeding time I would literaly sit there in tears! I decided it wasn't worth it so for 2 days I cried with guilt about how I failed my baby! But he took the bottle no worries and is definitely not failing in the weight gain department! He is my big bubba! Since he started solids I decided to make up for the lack of breastfeeding and have made all his food myself! In the 2 months he's been on solids he's had maybe 1.5 jars of food that I haven't made myself- and he's having 2-3 meals a day! I love knowing that it's all fresh ingredients going into him - that being said I have no problems with jar food at all! I just really enjoy making his food!! I never thought I would enjoy it so much!! It makes me feel like I've accomplished something!!

He wakes me up in the middle of the night not with crying but by talking loudly....so  I get up and am not happy about being woken only to walk in and find this smiling flapping little man who is so happy to see me how can I be angry at him? I love his smiles, I hate hearing him upset! I hate that look he gives me when he's not happy!

As I said it's not been all rainbows and lollipops! The first 12 weeks were the hardest I have ever been through physically and emotionally!! Everyone tells you how tired you are...well no one told me there'd be nights where I'd find myself in the foetal position, sobbing on the floor in my hallway because I'm getting up for the 6th time in 2 hours whilst in agony from the anal fissure that will not give me a break. NO one told me I would lie in bed bawling my eyes out because I'm trying to find sleep through the pain, I pray to make the pain stop but it doesn't happen! No one warned me of the times I would sit on the couch feeding in the middle of the night crying silent tears because I am JUST.SO.TIRED!

As horrible as it sounds I found the first few weeks so unrewarding it was hard to see the light through the darkness! I don't know how many tears were shed in those first 8 weeks! Tears because I was tired, tears because I was in pain, tears just because there  were tears that needed to be shed!

IT was hard and so unrewarding...but then he smiled.. and he continued to smile..and it really makes things a lot easier to bare!!!

I have A LOT more to add but I better get cracking on deciphering through all of my diary!! I reckon I'll be able to come back on here more often now.....

8 weeks...just about!

Ok I know I know...its been sooo long since I last wrote but now everything is settling down I can finally get on top of it all!

Ashton is just amazing! He will be 8 weeks in 2 days and is thriving! He gets weighed and measured tomorrow but I think he is hovering around the 6kg mark! He is a boofa! He seems to be a sensitive little man and he is finally smiling on a regular basis and his smile lights up my life! He really truly has changed so many lives in his tiny 8 weeks!

Here are just a couple of pics that were taken at 6 weeks..wow I can't believe that was 2 weeks ago already!! Time really does fly!

I'll probably keep this one a brief as I can because I will make it a gradual process to get up to date and stay on top of it all!

On a healing front it seems to never ever ever ever end!! After the million stitches I was in pain and uncomfortable..this gradually subsided but I was left with this dull achey pressure pulling type pain in the front and a much sharper more ouwy type pain in the back!

I had an asshole of a GP at 6 weeks basically dismiss me and was soo rude I was left in tears - like sobbing from the afternoon right through til the night! Then Dr John at 7 weeks tell me it was all scar related and left it at that! Ok thats fine and the front pain from the scar seems to be very minimal now.. but I'm still left with this pain which I had been convinced it was a hemorrhoid! Fast forward to today...3rd doctor to take a look (and I tell you what - I am so over people in that area) he finally notices I have an 'anal fissure'! So I will pick up my cream stuff tomorrow and start taking lots of salt baths (again) in the hope it heals and I don't need surgery! I really want to start feeling normal again!!

So today is Peter and my 2 year anniversary...so much has happened in that time it's insane and we couldn't be happier! Ashton has just slot right in and become such a good part of our lives! I'm happy to say we work as a team - I am slowly learning to get Peter to do stuff when I am home rather than just taking it all on! He is great and will do what I ask and I'm more than comfortable leaving the 2 of them alone but when I am home I seem to do it all...total unnecessary! So we are going great guns!

Had a wonderful catch up with ladies from my antenatal class today! I am very happy about this as my mother group didn't really work out so I am still surrounded by a bunch of wonderful ladies whose bubs are all relatively the same age! It was a lot of fun and I can see some great friendships being formed!

I also started the practical component of my Personal Training course on Friday night! I loved it and can't wait to keep going! I was highly motivated and even just about finished my first assignment! YAY! So it's going really well!!!

I currently feel very rich in life! Ashton has brought out more confidence in me - I feel with him in my arms a conversation starter so I am more inclined to talk to people and not be so shy! I also feel more relaxed in life abnd myself so I am happy to enrich my life with more and more people!! I have a fantastic circle of people around me (in real life and online!) and with that I could not be happier!

Mummyhood

I know I know I am terribly slack at updating but I do think about this blog often! But one thing I can tell you and it probably seems really naive but newborns are really time consuming! It's amazing but I just didn't realise how much time can be spent doing nothing but sitting on the couch with a newborn!! haha

Ok so trying to think back to my last post - that was the labour and ouchies!!

So I apologise if I repeat anything from the last post! But basically labour ended and my legs were totally dead from the epi so they let me stay in the delivery ward for a few hours after Ashton was born. My sisters and DP's dad also came and visited me whilst I was in there which was lovely but I could barely keep my eyes open and all I wanted to do was close them!

Eventually everyone went home and they decided I was able to be moved to the Maternity ward - by wheelchair! LOL! Weirdest feeling ever not being able to move my legs AT ALL! So I got to my room just after midnight! DP left not too long after that and I was left alone with this new baby for the first time. It's quite a surreal feeling! He was sleeping so I just stared at him a while and then went to sleep!

First night was ok - fed him and slept! Waking up the next morning was awesome because he was real! He was still there! I had a good time in hospital! The midwives were all lovely and never made me feel uncomfortable - despite having to do awesome things like have my catheter removed, then because I had a catheter they needed to monitor my wee for the day to make sure I did '3 big wees'! So I'd go to the toilet then have to buzz a midwife so they could see how much I had done in this measuring cup thing! AWESOME! haha They are right - dignity gets left at the door and does not get collected on the way out! haha But I didn't have any issues there and Ashton was sleeping like a champ!

So Christmas morning Ashton got his discharge check up at about 7.30am and everything was great - he was weighing 3660g so he hadn't lost too much weight. We then had to wait for the actual Dr to come and confirm everything and then we could leave....so we waited...and waited... until FINALLY at 11.00 the Dr came in and we could leave! We raced home and got ourselves ready and out the door to christmas lunch at my sisters! Ashton was such a legend and slept in the bassinet smack bang in the middle of the lounge room the WHOLE time! It was great! There was so much noise and chaos going on and he just slept...and slept! So I was hoping this was the beginning of a fantastic sleeping relationship....

So I have to run for now and I will eventually get up to date but for now snippets is what we get!

Few short things -

Everytime we leave the house we come home with a new present for Ashton - this is still continuing on nearly 4 weeks later! He really is a loved loved little boy.

Family can not stop cuddling him - FIL especially! I've never seen so much love and adoration in someone's eyes than when Ashton is being cuddled by GRandad! IT's amazing! They will have a special bond forever!

Note with boys - when they say 'keep it pointed down' they mean STRAIGHT DOWN! We have had several amazing tricks with him weeing out the side of his nappy!! LOL

Babies are tiring and time consuming...but then they stare at you, or give you a smile (windy or not) or just look so damn cute whilst they are sleeping it totally makes up for all of that!!

Ok well will come back soon to update!!!

xoxoo

The Eagle has Landed!

So apologies first up for being sooo long between updates!! Baby Ashton has arrived and with Christmas, my birthday and having Peter home I just haven't had the chance to jump on properly!!

Ok so hopefully I can get my birth story in before Peter needs the computer then I can come on and update the rest!

So where to start:

To begin with I had 2 stretch and sweeps in an attempt to get labour started. The first one I started losing my plug but not much else then the second one when I was 4 days past my due date I feel really kicked things off!! It felt a lot more uncomfy and I felt she really gave it a good sweep!

So that was on the Monday! Wednesday morning I woke up at 6am with what was definitely contractions. They were stronger than BH but not getting any stronger or closer together! They remained 6-8 minutes apart the whooolllee day!! IT was frustrating because I spent the whole day wondering if it was going to go forward or fizzle out into nothing! I'd been booked in for an induction on Monday the 27th but I really wanted bubba out before xmas!!

I woke up at about 2am on Thursday 23/12 with much stronger pains but tried to get some more sleep! 4am I woke up in much more pain and they were coming on about 4-5 minutes apart! I got up, had some panadol and a heat pack. No luck...it still hurt so I jumped in the shower and still no luck!! It hurt!! When they say you;ll definitely know the difference between BH and the real deal they aren't kidding!!

Woke mum and Peter up to say it's time to go to the hospital! By this stage I could barely walk through the contractions and would just have to stand bent over on the spot stamping my foot on the floor!!

Got to the hospital at about 6am. They put the monitor on me, and did an internal at about 8am - still only 1cm dialated!! I was not impressed as I was in a lot of pain!! They decided to send me home but as I had an appointment booked with the midwife for 9.30 that morning they got me in early! They wanted to do a fluid check to make sure all was good around the baby!! So during the scan I had 3 morevery painful contractions! The midwife thought she should probably do another internal to check before sending me home so this time only an hour later I was 3cm! YAY things were moving!! But I still went home with some panadeine forte and some sleeping tablets!

Got home about 9.30am hopped straight into bed...this lasted an hour until the pain was UNBEARABLE!! So back in the car we went! Got to the hospital and back into the delivery suite where the midwife suggested I have a bath which soothed the pain for a little while! Was nice and peaceful just lying in there with DP sitting next to me! But after 45 minutes (which I thought was only 15 minutes) the contractions were too painful and I had to get out! So back to the room we go and I'm asking for the gas!! Again...unless you timed it right didn't do much as it takes a bit to kick in! Plus it made me want to throw up so that was horrible!! I needed something stronger - there was no way I could imagine walking through them or anything like they suggest! The pain was all in my back and even being on all fours it HURT!!!!!

I was the loudest on the ward by far but I just didn't care! I just wanted the pain to stop!! So I got the pethidine (Slowly working my way through each level of painkiller!!) But again.... the pain was ridiculous!! Until eventually I just yelled out wanting an epidural! I have no idea what time it was as time has no meaning by this stage!!

So they moved me into another room and gave me the epidural! I was so out of it by this stage I could barely hold my head up! Peter was holding me still but unfortunately the sight of the needle made him queasie so the dr's suggested he lie down for a little while!! As soon as that epi was in I was a whole new person!! I managed to get some sleep and then had a sense of humour about it all!!

Eventually the midwife broke my waters for me and when feeling for the head let me know he had quite a bit of hair!! hehe

So the time came when she decided it was time to push! They turned down the epi so I could feel some sensation so I knew when I was having a contraction but not having any pain! So we watched the monitor - cx came on - I pushed and pushed and pushed! This went on for over 2 hours of just pushing my hardest (all the while being paranoid about pointless things like pooing or bursting blood vessells in my eyes! hehe) Eventually he had moved down but not enough and they were getting concerned about bubs heart rate!! Dr John appeared decked out in his plastic apron and gumboots!! Legs up in stirrups (definitely not one of my finer moments in life!!) Vaccuum attached and I pushed and they pulled.... BAM!! Vaccuum pops off and blood goes EVERYWHERE!! Talk about scary! So they decided forceps was necessary! By this stage there were 2 midwives, my ob and then the paed needed to be in as well so I was getting a little scared!! Fortunately I felt nothing!! So with one big push from me and a pull from the forceps baby Ashton was brought into the world! Turns out the little guy had turned posterior and no one had picked it up - hence why the labour was sooo painful as it was all in my back and also why he didn't want to budge!!!

So they pulled him out, put him on my chest and the monkey pooed all over me! AWESOME!! haha But then they had to whisk him away to check him as he was cold (fortunately he was crying though so I knew he was breathing!!) He was fine though!

They gave him to me to cuddle but after about 5 minutes I needed to throw up so eventually after it had all settled down I gave him a breastfeed and he was awesome at it!!!!

So happy to have my little man in the world!!

2 days til Due Date!!

Ok so I know I know I've beem totally and mega slack with the blog!! But there hasn't really been a lot happening in the pregnancy department...just rolling along!! BUT alas I find myself 2 days out from my due date!!

Had my final OB appointment this morning where he performed a stretch and sweep of the cervix! I was a little bit worried as people had said it could be painful but my cervix must have been nice and soft coz besides it being slightly uncomfortable it was absolutely fine! Some people are opposed to them but I was of the theory- between papsmears, the d&c, internal ultrasounds I have had a fair share of people making me uncomfy in there and this could prove beneficial to get bub moving!! So now we wait!

Think I had a small leak of waters yesterday after my nap - either that or I wee'd myself a bit (likely) but after some research it seems like a small leak! So FX things are happening! Have been having A LOT of BH that last few days - lots yesterday! Thought I woke up with a CX in the middle of the night as I woke up and the pain was all through my lower back as well! But I'm of the mind that if it is contractions they will wake me up more and more so I don't get too excited! I'm actually fairly rational about it all at the moment! Like when something new happens I don't jump up thinking 'this is it' but just that 'well at least my body is recognising this and hopefully will kick into gear soon'! So I try and just go with the flow!

If he decided xmas day is his birthday then so be it! That's the way the world turns - as Dr John said at least the hospital is pretty much empty so the chances of having a room to myself or with one other person instead of 4 are a lot higher!

So we wait! I am happy with how I am carrying so far aswell! Sleep is the only comlaint I have! I am now at the point where I need to sleep upright on my back because if I sleep on my side I get pelvic pain and NOW I also get cramps in my hips from the weight of my belly! So if I DO sleep on my side I'm now surrounded by pillows - between the legs, under the belly, behind me and also sleeping with my head on 3 pillows!!

I will be sad when this pregnancy is over as I will miss feeling little man in there - it's like that stage of a relationship when everything is still a possibility and the world is your oyster and and you can imagine everything.... because until bubs comes I can imagine what life i going to be like with our little guy..so once he is here then reality will kick in and I'm sure it is better than anything I have ever imagined!

So there you go.... up to date with where I am at...hopefully next time I post I will have little man! But I promise I won't leave it too long!!!

Getting Impatient!

So almost at 37 weeks and am actually getting really really impatient! A lot more than I thought I would! I think because the November SWB girls have all got their little bundles and surprisingly heaps of people due in December have also popped and i feel like I have so long to go!!

I know realistically its not that far away but I think I am just anxious to get this little guy out so i know he will be here for xmas!!

Been feeling pretty good the last couple of days - if it weren't for my belly I would swear I would forget i was pregnant - that and the constant reminder with alien like movements happening! He currently has the hiccups and it's just annoying! He gets them like 4 times a day minimum!! So it gets a bit monotonous!!

Had an ob appointment this morning - they go weekly from this point!! EEP! But everything is great! BP is normal, Fundal height measuring only a few days behind and his heartbeat sounds nice and strong! Dr John seems to think that whilst he's not a small bub he is definitely not a whopper! He doesn't think he'll be close to 9 pounds which is very reassuring! Mind you - Peter's mum had told him he was HUGE when I looked at his baby book the other day he was only 7p 9oz!! So not a big bubba at all!! Silly woman!!

Been getting an achey belly lately - like I need to do a bowel movement but I don;t need too (like sorry if tmi but i'm going pretty regularly so it's not like I'm blocked up) so I'm wondering if thats good signs! Also the general period like pain (which was  a stark reminder that i will be going back to getting AF soon! BOO)!!

Dr John also said he was engaged but just didn't say how much! But I was happy that little man has figured out which way the exit is and will hopefully start to make his way down soon enough!!

Well that;s it from me for now - it is just about nap time for me now!!